So What is Man's Position Nowadays?

My friend Daniel Büttner shared an interesting thought with me yesterday.

Since the advent of feminism, women have boldly, and successfully, claimed a new position for themselves in Western society. They have made it clear that they no longer accept being confined to the traditional, patriarchal view of their role, staying at home, rearing children and cooking for their working men. Women have mostly obtained the right to decide for themselves what they want to be and when they want to become what they want to be. This is a good thing.

But what about men’s position? Men have been accused (and still are, rightly so) of locking down the best careers and positions, and women are demanding that they let go of the monopoly. Men are no longer the only leaders, the only providers, the only artists, the only athletes or the only warriors.

At the same time, the expectations on the male character have been redefined. Men are now expected to be less aggressive, more understanding, and to share their emotions through language rather than action. They are being told that being in touch with their feminine side is a healthy thing. Going further, the only adjective to adorn the noun “masculinity” nowadays is “toxic”. There is no real alternative to the narrative of the man as oppressor of women at the level of the entire society. While it probably describes the past, having no alternative narrative is not a good foundation for the future.

There isn’t much left to define man’s role in society, except for all the things they should no longer be doing. While women have done a great job at defining their new position in society, men have merely let themselves be reined in.

There is only one exception I can think of: Fatherhood. Men nowadays will more readily claim their right to spend an equal amount of time with their infants and young children.

Other than that, faced with a female counterpart actively shaping their role for half a century, men have missed the opportunity to rethink their own role and have largely let women erode it for them. They haven’t asked: What should men be in this new, changed societal order? What is it that men are uniquely good at? Where is there a void in societal needs that men can best fill going forward?

What will this lack of clear, affirmative, positive position in society do to today’s young boys and men?